


all at once

by pastelpink



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26430595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelpink/pseuds/pastelpink
Summary: In which John returns after disappearing for four years and Alex has moved on. Sort of.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> This is my very fist work for the Hamilton fandom. This prompt just wouldn't leave me alone and I wanted to try something new so started writing it down. Here's a prologue for what seems to be the start of a rollercoaster ride. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think! I'm currently working on the first Chapter. The rest of the story will be written in Alex's POV. Enjoy!

John was a man of impulse. 

His father told him it was more of a curse than a blessing, and John couldn’t blame him, honestly. In fact, his siblings have recounted one too many instances where their dad had picked him up in school for getting into fights, always leaving with either a black eye or a busted lip.

“I was actually starting to get worried that the bruises would permanently stain your skin.” his sister had laughed.

Still, John liked to believe otherwise. Plus, he trusted and _relied_ on his gut. 

People usually based their decisions on past experiences and stuff they’ve learned through the years, but John had none of those– nothing that he could remember, at least. Everything that had happened the past few years had gone cloudy after the accident. 

He shuddered at the thought, his hand subconsciously touching the scar on the back of his head. 

So maybe John relied on his gut too much, so what? It hasn’t let him down yet, anyway, and he was being antsy back in his apartment, pacing around his room for god knows how long. There was just this twisting feeling in his gut telling him to get the fuck out for once and he couldn’t shake it off no matter how hard he tried.

That was how he found himself walking briskly to a bar he thinks he’s never been to one Saturday night, his hands seemingly excited to push the door open with an eager smile on his face.


	2. Chapter 1

The cursor on the monitor stayed blinking for such a long time that it almost seemed like it was mocking him. Alexander huffed and stared back at the screen grumpily, refusing to blink until he strained his eyes. 

_Fuck,_ he thought, _I really need to send this out by today._

He stifled a yawn and blinked a few times before taking a gulp at his now cold cup of coffee– his fifth one today. Honestly, he didn’t _have_ to send it yet, he just really liked getting (way) ahead of his workload. 

For the record, he really did plan on sleeping early the night before. It was just that Eliza texted to tell him she was sleeping over, so he had to adjust his schedule to make way for dinner. Then of course, Washington calls to remind him about the arts fair- as if he’d have forgotten- and apologetically asked him to start drafting a proposal and a list of students he thinks should participate. And then things just started to pile up on top of another that he found himself deadbeat and exhausted by two in the morning

These articles usually took him an hour tops to finish, but something felt very odd today… or maybe it was his sheer lack of sleep. Alex ponders for a bit and decides that it was probably the first one, of course, because he’s been sleep deprived for almost all his life. What was so different today, right?

“Alex?” 

“Hey,” he says before glancing up and finds Eliza poking her head through the door. “You’re awake.”

“I’ve been up for two hours.” she smiled humorously and placed a kiss on top of his head. “You really should stop drinking so much coffee, you know. ”

“Please,” he snorts, “I’d get literally nothing done. It’s like an extension of my blood. My personal H2O, if you will.”

“What I’m saying is,” she tries again, this time more pointedly “maybe you should give it a rest for a bit. You’re overworking your brain. Maybe go take a break or something?”

“A break?” Alex lets out an incredulous laugh. “Eliza, come on, you know how much work I have to do, right? You were there when Washington called last night. The work keeps coming in and it won’t stop. I need to make sure I get ahead, in case something urgent comes up last minute.”

Eliza looks at him for a moment, decides to ignore him and continues, “Laf has been trying to get a hold of you for two weeks. Do you really like breaking his heart?”

“I’m not-”

“I’m gonna call Lafayette, take a shower, get you a glass of water and meet my sisters for lunch.” she snatched the cup on the table. “You better get it together.”

She pats his head and Alex could only watch as she saunters off the room with his coffee in her hand. 

Being with Eliza was nice. She was smart, and kind and beautiful and _warm_. She taught Music to a bunch of third graders and they’d met on one of those field trips a few months back. Their school buses were parked beside each other. Alex was instantly drawn to her, so he striked a conversation and did his best to make her laugh. 

It was nice dating a fellow instructor because she understood how busy things could get from time to time. Alex remembered thinking it would probably be nice having her around. She calmed him down and seemed to slow things down for him. It was also a nice surprise that she didn’t just up and leave when she realized how manic and obsessive Alex could be because of work. Most of the people he dated before would be running away as fast as they could during this stage of the relationship.

Alex knew she was out of his league and that she could’ve done with someone much better, but for some unknown reason she’d chosen him. And, well, he cared about her. A lot. 

Eliza was the only one who managed to break down the walls he’d unconsciously built around. Not wanting to- so afraid to get hurt again. But when she smiled at him, he felt assured and comforted. She was a good one, wouldn’t hurt him and would never leave him hanging.

It was, as he kept saying, _nice._

The phone alert caught his attention. He pulled his phone out, already knowing who it was without having to check. 

_Lafayette: mon ami, should I text Herc??? are we finally having lunch xxx_

Alex sighs. He didn’t have the heart to reject Lafayette again, but he felt like his back was glued to the chair. He chewed his bottom lip, weighing his options and types out a reply.

_T_ o _Lafayette: Sure, but can we go out for drinks tonight instead? Maybe 8-ish? You know the one._

_Lafayette: !!! oui, of course. will see you then, without a laptop i hope!_

_To Lafayette: Har-har that was one time. let it die!!_

_Lafayette: <3_

Alex puts his phone down and chuckles to himself. Okay, he did miss his friends and it was getting rather painful rejecting Lafayette every time he tried to have Alex over for dinner, lunch, breakfast and even brunch. He made a mental note to be a better friend before this one ups and leaves him too. 

Alex smiled bitterly to himself at the thought. Truth be told, he almost never thinks about _him_ anymore. It’s been so long… like three, four years? So much had happened since then. If his mind would wander dangerously close to the nearly forgotten memories, he immediately shakes them off. Doing anything he can to not go down that road. He absolutely refuses to spiral down again. It had taken him so long to get back on his feet that even the vaguest thought of it makes it harder for him to breathe.

“Hey,” Eliza finally returns with a tall glass of water, shaking him away from his thoughts. “You’re still spending the night at my place tonight, right?”

Alex avoids her eyes and hums in confirmation. “Already confirmed with Laf. Happy now?”

“Very.” she smiled. “Well, I better go. You know how Angelica gets when I’m even, like, one minute late.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t want her popping a vein.” he says, feigning seriousness that earns him a laugh from Eliza.

“Don’t let her hear you say that!” she warns him but grins, “Alright, alright, I’m going.”

“Say hello to Angelica and Peggy for me.” he walks her out of the apartment and pecks her lips before closing the door. . 

Alex glanced at the wall clock as soon as the door shut. “Well,” he says to himself out loud “I have nine more hours to vomit words out. Better get to work.”

He made himself another cup of coffee, plopped down on the chair and began typing profusely.

-

By 6:30 in the evening, Alex successfully sends the article to his editor after going over it three times. He sniffs himself, decides it would be rude not to shower, quickly does so and changes into a pair of clean clothes. He reheats the leftovers in his fridge and eats it while watching Doctor Who reruns on TV and replying to his unopened text messages.

_Eliza: im with them. all of angelica’s veins are intact n peggy’s looking for you!_

_Eliza: im back home and probably sleeping the rest of the day. <3_

_Eliza: <3 <3 <3 _

_Eliza: you better be getting ready to see your friends!!_

_To Eliza: I’m happy to hear that Angelica is still in one piece. Hope Peggy’s doing fine. I’m currently having dinner before heading out._ _  
__  
__PS: I was able to send out the article. Sorry for only just replying, I was immersed._

_Lafayette: alex, i’ve texted Herc already so there’s no backing out ok i love the man but i cant have another one on one with him please im begging you xxx_

_Lafayette: hey are we still on tonite? we are right?_

_Lafayette: alex??? you cannot be reached, is there no signal in your apartment lol? I told you to just move in with me it’s so ugly there lol_

_Lafayette: hello????????_

_Lafayette: ??????_

_Hercules: For God’s sake Hamilton please reply to Lafayette he’s driving me crazy_

_Lafayette: the window hours of cancelling = closed. i will be expecting you at the bar, laptop-less and CLEAN. xxxxx_

_Hercules: see ya man_

_To Hercules: See you later. Sorry, got caught up in work. I’m about to leave._

**_  
_** **_  
_** Alex takes a video of him placing his laptop inside the bag and putting it inside his cabinet and sends it to Lafayette, the biggest drama queen on the planet.

_To Lafayette: Sorry, sheesh. I had to finish an article. But I will be leaving now. Laptop-free, as you’d have seen._

**_  
_**   
He locks his phone, makes a grab for his keys, and sets out to the bar.

-

The Future looked more crowded than usual, Alex notes as he stepped inside. He looked around and spotted a friendly face. He waves from across the room to grab his attention as he makes his way to a secluded table which Lafayette had probably reserved for them.

“Hey, man.” he grinned as he clapped Hercules at the back. “Been awhile!”

“You can say that again.” Hercules chuckles as he smacks Alex on the shoulder and pushes a bucket of beer towards him.

“Where’s Laf?”

“Said he was already walking a few minutes before you arrived.” Hercules pauses for a beat. “You look like shit.”

“Yeah, well.” Alex laughs. “Exam week’s only just finished a few days ago and Washington wants to get started on the upcoming arts fair already. Plus, the next issue of our journal’s gonna be out soon so I’ve been writing articles.”

“You literally look like a member of the undead.”

“Alright, I get it!” Alex balls up a tissue and throws it to his face.

They were both laughing when they see Lafayette walking excitedly to the booth with a toothy grin. “Mon petit lion! Hammy!”

Alex laughs again as the buffoon envelopes him in a tight hug. “Hey, Laf. I thought you’d be the first one here.”

“I did not trust you not to cancel at the last minute even if the window hours have closed.” Lafayette sniffs and slides down to the seat next to Hercules, nodding to acknowledge him.

“I suppose I deserve that.”

“You do.”

“I was just telling Alex he looked like death reincarnate.” Hercules informs Lafayette who was already starting on a bottle of beer.

“Oh, leave it already, Mulligan.” Alex makes a face to his direction.

“Okay, I think we are all aware that Alex has the tendency to bury himself at work and forget that people around him exist as well.” Lafayette butts in with two of his hands raised to stop Hercules and Alex from bantering further. ”But we are together, reunited. In the greatest city in the world. So tonight, gentlemen, we drink!”

“In the greatest city of-” Hercules guffaws. “You’re so fucking corny.”

Alex grins at them as he orders another bucket of beer.

“Whatever.” Lafayette waves him off. “What we should do is actually celebrate Eliza, since she has taken it upon herself to inform me that Alex will finally be free today.”

“Oh yeah, how’s Eliza doing?’ Hercules asks.

“She’s okay, still teaching Music.” 

“Things getting pretty serious between you two, huh?”

A beat passed. “I guess? I don’t know, I guess we are. We’re seeing each other exclusively. It’s nice having her around.”

“You should tell her you love her already.” Lafayette suggests.

“I don’t think I love her yet, though?” Alex squirms in his seat and makes a face again. Ugh, they were so not drunk enough to be having this kind of conversation yet. 

“That’s where it will all go eventually though.” Lafayette beams at him.

“I guess,” Alex drinks as he feels his face get hot, “I’m, you know, taking it slow.”

“Oh, Alex.” Lafayette sighs sympathetically and shares a look with Hercules. “Let us not talk about this anymore, it will ruin the night.”

Alex flashes them both a grateful smile.

-

The night had not been ruined, but it was almost over.

“Let’s ‘ave another round tonight!” Lafayette sing-songs, slurring on the words. 

“My god, he’s so drunk.” Alex laughs at the sight of them. Hercules was struggling to hoist the taller man up.

“He’s so confident that I’ll be bringing him home, that’s why.” he huffs. Sure. It wasn’t at all because Lafayette had practically inhaled a whole bucket and a half by himself.

“Correct!” Lafayette exclaims and Alex laughs again. “You should sleep over, Hercules, I will make breakfast tomorrow. You too, _mon petit lion_. I will make pancakes and bacon for my friends.”

“I can’t, Laf, I’m spending the night at Eliza’s remember?” Alex pats him on the arm and turns to Hercules. “Go ahead, before he passes out on you. I’ll take care of the bill.”

“You sure?” Hercules asks as he tries to remove Lafayette’s hands on his face. 

“Yeah, I owe you guys.” 

“Sweet.” Hercules grinned and pulled Lafayette to his feet. “Say your goodbyes, man. We’re leaving.”

Lafayette almost tumbles over as he kisses both of Alex’s cheeks. “Be safe, _mon ami_ , and please take care of yourself, okay? We cannot make sure that you are all the time.” 

“I will, I will,” Alex smiles at him and squeezes his arm.

“Alright, you big buffoon help me out here. Turn.” Hercules instructs Lafayette and looks at Alex. “See you soon, man. Don’t be a stranger.” 

“I won’t” he replies seriously, smiling. “Take care, alright? Text me when you get home.”

“Will do.” Hercules nods at him and starts for the door. Alex watched them fondly as they made their way to the exit, Lafayette telling everyone he passed just how lucky he was with his friends and how much he adored them.

Alex really had to make time for them. He makes another mental note at that and stands from their table. Since he was only a little bit tipsy, he decided that another bottle wouldn’t hurt. 

He goes to the bar, shoots Eliza a quick text and orders one last bottle before he spots him.

The man was leaning against the wall with a bottle in his hand, looking a little bit lost. He was wearing a maroon shirt that hugged his body perfectly, and had his hair up in a bun-- with the same curly hair as _he_ had. Alex remembers. He would never forget even if he’d tried. 

He asks the universe why they decided to fuck with him tonight. The night was going smoothly up until they sent a fucking clone of _him_ in the bar they used to go to all the time. Alex knows it couldn’t be him because they’ve searched _everywhere_ for him to suddenly pop up in the same city... right?

Maybe this was one of those nights where he was supposed to just let go and think of the things he missed. And oh, did he miss him so much and did he-

Alex gulps as the man makes eye contact with him and offers him a smile. He couldn’t breathe, but that didn’t stop him from downing a half full bottle of beer, his heart hammering against his chest, and, _what the fuck?_

He shakes his head and starts praying silently to all the gods and goddesses he could think of because God Almighty, the man was making his way towards him. Alex turned his head again, looking for something, anything that could possibly salvage him from this situation until the man was five steps away, four.. three... two-

“Um, excuse me,” the man says sheepishly. “Hi.”

Alex stares at him, holding his breath. He had the same freckles too. Fuck.

The man chuckles uneasily and continues, “I know this sounds weird but, have… have we met before?”

 _Your clone, sure. You, nope_. Alex thinks. He wanted to reach out and touch those freckles, those damned freckles. He wonders if they would feel the same under his fingertips.

“Um, I should have-” the man lets out another nervous laugh, “I’m sorry. I’m John? Um, John Laurens.”

Alex stumbles in his chair. He gawks at him in disbelief, unable to speak. He feels dizzy. Of course Alex fucking knows who he was. The bastard.

He looked over his shoulder again expecting to find a production crew for the remake of Punk’d or some ridiculous fucking bullshit. Anything that would explain this mess of a situation, really, would be amazing because this had to be a joke, right? This had to be one of Lafayette’s stupid, childish pranks, Alex thinks.

The nerve. The fucking nerve of this fucking man, actually, to even talk to him again after he- Alex lets out a big breathe, not finishing the thought.

Instead, he shuts his eyes and starts counting mentally to even out his breathing. 

_1… 2… 3…_

_1… 2… 3..._

“Are you okay?” John’s brows furrows together as he reaches for Alex’s arm.

Alex looks at John’s hand in panic as it inched closer and closer to his skin. He couldn’t take it anymore.

He vomits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we are! The first chapter. I apologize for the Hamilton references, I just couldn't help myself but I will be refraining from such from now on!!
> 
> So what do you guys think?? I will be adding more tags as the story progresses, but to be honest I'm not sure whether I want to have a side Mullette or just let them be friends or whatever. Let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> I've already started on the second chapter and it should be up by next week. 
> 
> Thanks for reading guys! All comments and suggestions are, of course, welcome with open arms. I hope everyone is staying safe and using masks :D <3


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